Aysha Kawal

I consider myself Danish, but my face and my body are what they are, and I still carry the Iraqi culture in my emotional baggage. My husband and I are Yazidis. In our religion the peacock angel is God’s representative on earth and a symbol of beauty. It adorns our home, reminds us where we come from, and influences our way of thinking.

There is a Kurdish proverb saying that man is a bird without wings, and that you therefore cannot control where you land. I landed in Denmark when I was 29 years old, and my life started over again. In the beginning I was startled to see so many cars with luggage in roof racks, because they resembled the cars in Iraq driving around with coffins, but I gradually became used to it.

In Iraq we were challenged by the Saddam regime, because it did not tolerate our thoughts on democracy and diversity. In Denmark we began a new and different battle, namely a battle to get an education and a job and to create a family. For ten years I received fertility treatment, alas with no success.
It was hard to build up expectations again and again for so many years, but end up disappointed every time, so at some point my husband and I decided to stop trying. It makes me so sad that we failed. My husband had children from a previous marriage. We have a photo of them in our living room, but that is all we see of them. They were caught by Saddam’s forces and disappeared many years ago. I know that it hurts my husband, but he is strong, and he always supports me and tells me that now it is all about our life together.

46 years / female / in a relationship / pedagogue / Brønshøj / from Iraq / Kurdish background / came to Denmark via family reunification in 1999